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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26684044">Wildfire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/andeemae/pseuds/andeemae'>andeemae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheating, F/M, Reconciliation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:29:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26684044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/andeemae/pseuds/andeemae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Madge moves on and Gale has to work for their broken relationship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gale Hawthorne/Madge Undersee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Wildfire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine. </p><p>AN: This was originally posted quite a long time ago, and I’m attempting to move some of my stories here. We’ll see how successful I am.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Madge supposes she should've known it would come to something like this four years ago when she'd caught him half-naked with Johanna Mason, the senior girl from two towns over with a police record and a mustang convertible, in Delly Cartwright's poolroom during an end of year party.</p>
<p>Gale wasn't ready for a relationship. He liked Madge, she didn't doubt that, and he liked having her in his life, but she wasn't special. She wasn't enough something for him, and she'd never been quite sure what that was.</p>
<p>Now she knows though.</p>
<p>She just isn't enough anything for him.</p>
<p>She'd forgiven him though. He'd looked so completely sincere when he'd apologized, told her it was a drunken mistake and that it would never happen again.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Madge, I just got caught up," he'd told her with red-rimmed eyes and a broken voice.</p>
<p>Of course she'd believed him. Madge's whole life was a series of forgiving people, of taking a second place in their lives, why shouldn't she have given Gale that courtesy as well? Despite the humiliation she'd felt, all the anger and resentment that had boiled under her skin, she'd forgiven him. Somehow this had to have been her fault. If she'd have been a better girlfriend, if she'd have been more of that elusive something Gale might not have strayed.</p>
<p>Now it's abundantly clear that nothing she does is ever going to be enough to keep him happy. Not really.</p>
<p>It was supposed to be Katniss' birthday and a celebration of her and Peeta's engagement. It had been.</p>
<p>Peeta had made an elaborate cake and Katniss' favorite rolls, while Madge worked for a week making paper decorations with Prim.</p>
<p>Everything had been going so well, right up until Gale and Katniss had disappeared to take out some of the trash their friends and family had accumulated. When they'd been gone a shade too long, of course Madge had gone looking for them. The bags had probably broken, she'd warned Gale about buying those cheap things, he knew they needed the heavy duty ones for a party.</p>
<p>She adjust the strap on her painful little shoes, one's that put her at the right height for Gale to dance with her without hurting his back, even if he refuses to get out on the floor with her, as she steps down the threshold to find her wayward boyfriend and the birthday girl.</p>
<p>With a laugh still on her lips, Madge had jogged out the back door and around the Everdeen house only to stop dead in her tracks at what she saw.</p>
<p>They were kissing.</p>
<p>It wasn't passion and fire, but an awkward, stilted looking thing, and if her heart hadn't stopped mid-beat, if it hadn't been her boyfriend and her supposed friend, if it had been a scene in a movie, a cheaply made teen comedy, Madge might have laughed.</p>
<p>It wasn't though; it was just one more pathetic chapter in her life.</p>
<p>Voice dead in her throat, Madge turned to run without making so much as a shuffling noise with her shoes. She couldn't watch anymore.</p>
<p>When she bolted past Peeta he caught her by the arm with a frown. "Are you okay?"</p>
<p>The tears hadn't started yet, they were in too much of a shock, but all Madge could manage to sputter out was the word 'sick' before pulling from Peeta's grip and escaping past the rest of the guest without causing a scene. This was her private time, the calm before the storm of her failed relationship, and she didn't want to start it with the sad stares of people she knows. She needed time to straighten herself out.</p>
<p>When she finally reached the little street, broke into the cooling night air, she took her shoes off and began jogging, no destination in mind but to get as far away as possible.</p>
<p>Her feet had barely carried her four streets over when she heard the unmistakable rumble of Gale's truck engine.</p>
<p>"Madge?" She heard his voice call to her over the noise, his headlights sending her shadow stretching out in front of her.</p>
<p>Madge ignored him.</p>
<p>"Madge, stop running and get in the truck. Peeta said you're sick. Mrs. Everdeen wants me to bring you back so she can look you over," he tells her, his truck creeping along beside her.</p>
<p>She considered yelling, causing a ruckus and scaring the sleepy neighborhood into calling the police, it would've given her a vindictive pleasure, but she just continued to ignore him and let her feet continue to carry her away.</p>
<p>Finally he huffed, gunned his truck a few feet in front of her and stopped, opened his door and waited for her to jog past.</p>
<p>"Madge-" he reached for her arm but she jerked from his grip.</p>
<p>"Don't!" She snapped.</p>
<p>Her tone was so sharp, so unlike her, he froze, eyes widening.</p>
<p>Shaking, Madge glared at him, fought off the angry tears threatening to spill down her cheeks and tried to take even breaths, keep herself from falling completely apart.</p>
<p>His eyebrows knitted together, as he studied her, trying to work out what had her so upset. "What is wrong with you?"</p>
<p>"What do you think is wrong with me?" She asked as evenly as she could, her voice still sounding pathetically wet and whiny to her ears.</p>
<p>Gale's face shifted into a scowl. "Dammit, Madge, I hate playing these stupid games with you. Just tell me what's wrong."</p>
<p>A little laugh, a cold thing that sounded nothing like her, burst out of her chest.</p>
<p>"Games? You think I'm the one playing games?" She crossed her arms to keep them from shaking. "I'm not the one playing at anything, Gale."</p>
<p>She felt her lips begin trembling as she waited for him to say something, admit what he'd just done. She's was giving him this chance to explain himself, tell her it was all a big misunderstanding and take her back in his arms. It would've just take an 'I'm so sorry' an act of contrition and she would've forgiven him, she loved him too much and she wanted so badly to forgive him.</p>
<p>"What is wrong with you?" He asked again, his expression growing more frustrated.</p>
<p>For a minute all Madge could do was stare at him, study him.</p>
<p>Her heart cracked down the center. He was perfect. Tall, dark, and handsome, braver than she could ever hope to be, outspoken and creative…perfect.</p>
<p>He was heat and passion and life. Her life, but she clearly wasn't his.</p>
<p>Madge's voice broke when she finally found it again, forced it out.</p>
<p>"I saw," is all she managed to get past her lips.</p>
<p>Gale's head tilted, eyebrows pulled together again, trying to work out her cryptic words. It only took a second for his expression to fall.</p>
<p>"Madge…" He started, but his words seemed to stick in his throat.</p>
<p>A cool breeze ruffled Madge's dress, one she'd picked out specifically because she knew Gale liked to feel of the fabric, and her skin began to itch. She wanted to get home and burn the damned thing.</p>
<p>"I just had to do it. Once. Just to know."</p>
<p>At first Madge wasn't sure what she was hearing and she blinked at him, frowned. "What?"</p>
<p>His mouth seemed to dry and he licked his lips to get them to unstick.</p>
<p>"I had to kiss her. I had to know."</p>
<p>Madge felt the prickling tears begin to leak out the sides of her eyes despite her furious efforts to blink them back. "Had to know what?"</p>
<p>"What might've been," he finally sputtered out. He ran his hand through his hair. "I-Katniss and I have been friends for year. When she started dating Mellark I wondered-and then when they announced they were getting married I finally had to know-"</p>
<p>"Know what?" Madge yelled, not carrying if she did wake the neighborhood.</p>
<p>"Know if we could've been something!" He finally shouted back. His voice drops. "We are perfect for each other and I just-I just needed to know."</p>
<p>We are perfect for each other.</p>
<p>Gale was right. He and Katniss were perfect for each other. They were both fire and heat, energy, bravely venturing out where Madge could only follow. Just like Johanna Mason, Katniss was free and wild, if in a much different way. Not like Madge.</p>
<p>Madge was controlled, a small flame on a candle wick trying to teach him to be useful and not destructive. Not a wildfire, consuming and shaping the world around it, but a small flame, a tamed patch of light that will reach the end of its wick eventually.</p>
<p>She wonders if she hasn't reached the end of her wick with Gale now.</p>
<p>Hot tears started pouring down Madge's cheeks, ruining her carefully placed makeup, turning her into as big a mess on the outside as she was on the inside. She gritted her teeth. "Well, I hope you got your answer."</p>
<p>As she turned to leave, finish running herself into the ground, Gale caught her arm. "I did."</p>
<p>He smiled at her, and normally that would've been it, she would've melted into his arms and let him apologize. This time is different though.</p>
<p>"Katniss and I-there was nothing there," his mouth stretched further up.</p>
<p>He must think that's what she wants or needs to hear, that his little experiment had yielded negative results, but it only settles a stone in her stomach. There shouldn't have been a reason to test those waters. Madge should've been enough. Was there not something there with them?</p>
<p>His smile faded when Madge pulled away. She swats at the tears rolling down her cheeks and narrowed her eyes. "And now there's nothing here either."</p>
<p>With that she drops her uncomfortable shoes and runs.</p>
<p>#######</p>
<p>Gale leaves her messages, fills up her outbox and lights up her texts. When he sends flowers to her apartment, an expensive looking bouquet of mixed exotics, she knows he's desperate. Gale thinks paying for flowers is pointless and a waste of money.</p>
<p>Peeta comes by first.</p>
<p>"Katniss told me what happened," he says. "And then Gale told us what happened with you."</p>
<p>Madge nods, but her voice hasn't worked since that night.</p>
<p>"I told him you should've kicked him in the balls," Peeta tells her, not cracking a smile.</p>
<p>That gets a snort of laughter out of her. A smile, the first she's had in a week, pushes up her blotchy cheeks. Then come the tears.</p>
<p>"Peeta?" She tries to force them back, but a few still trickle out. "What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong?"</p>
<p>His expression hardens, completely un-Peeta like, and he pulls her into a hug. "You didn't do anything wrong, Madge. Gale did this. Not you." He cuts his eyes down to her increasingly wet eyes, "Understand me?"</p>
<p>She doesn't, not completely, but Peeta's words are definitely something she needs to hear.</p>
<p>"What did-What did Katniss say?" Madge finally asks.</p>
<p>Peeta shrugs. "She told me Gale was an idiot. Worst kiss in her life, though from what I've been told it that's probably a gross misrepresentation for my benefit. I don't plan on challenging it though, not unless Gale and I are both very drunk."</p>
<p>He's trying to get her to laugh again, but it doesn't work and his little smile slips off his face.</p>
<p>Madge presses her cheek to his shoulder. "You forgive her?"</p>
<p>He nods. "I love her. And she told me immediately after, said Gale had lost his mind. Then he came back without you…I knew he'd screwed up again."</p>
<p>Peeta had helped her stitch herself together again after the Johanna incident, he'd watched her put she and Gale's broken relationship back together, and now he's watching it fall apart again.</p>
<p>"Madge," he starts, "you shouldn't be the only one working in this thing. He has to put in some effort too."</p>
<p>"He is," Madge starts, waving her hand at the vase, setting on the kitchen table. "He is trying."</p>
<p>"No," Peeta shakes his head. "He's doing damage control. You're the one who does all the work. You're the one that plans things for the two of you. You're the one who thinks of him when you dress in the morning. You're the one sitting in your living room with a week's worth of grim on you, crying in your 'Babs Bunny' sweatshirt-"</p>
<p>"Gale-"</p>
<p>"Gale is a selfish bastard. He thinks that he had to kiss Katniss to see if there was something there, some stupid possibility, when he already had something great in his life. He's chasing something, and you don't need that."</p>
<p>Madge rubs her eyes, sniffles and stares at Peeta. "What are you telling me?"</p>
<p>Peeta sighs. "I'm telling you that you are amazing, that you could be even more amazing if you weren't so concerned with being whatever it is that Gale is looking for. He's missing out on what's right in front of him, and I don't want you to pay for that."</p>
<p>Stomach lurching, probably from eating a steady diet of Cherry Garcia and Twinkies, Madge flops back onto the couch. "What does Katniss say?"</p>
<p>Katniss had only called Madge, she wasn't much of a talker, but she'd wanted to apologize, even if it couldn't be in person.</p>
<p>"I doubted you wanted to see me anyway," she told Madge when she'd finally answered.</p>
<p>That wasn't entirely untrue. She wasn't mad at Katniss. She hadn't kissed Gale, just been kissed.</p>
<p>"He's an idiot," she'd began. "He's an idiot, but he loves you and he's sorry. It won't happen again."</p>
<p>Madge assumes Katniss means Gale won't kiss her again, probably under threat of a beating, because from what Madge can tell, Gale will probably kiss plenty of other girls after this. Somewhere in her head she wonders if he hasn't already kissed plenty of girls, probably done more, without Madge knowing. She starts to ask Katniss, but she either wouldn't tell or, more likely, wouldn't know. Its gossip and Katniss isn't much for that.</p>
<p>"Katniss tell him you'll forgive him," Peeta sighs. "You love him and you'll come around."</p>
<p>Madge doesn't ask if Gale is as beat up about this as she is. She knows he'll be upset, but a cruel part of her mind tells her he'll only be upset that he got caught and is having to work for her when she'd always fallen so easily back to him.</p>
<p>They sit on the lumpy couch for a few minute, listening to the slow ticking of the clock on the mantle, counting down Madge's wasted life.</p>
<p>"What should I do?" She finally whispers, her voice still raw.</p>
<p>Peeta's hands, worn from working in his father's bakery, reach over and take Madge's hand, give it a squeeze.</p>
<p>"I think," he begins slowly, taking a deep breath, "you need to learn to be Madge. Not Gale's girlfriend. I think he needs to learn to be alone, or whatever it is he wants to be. I think the both of you need to be away from each other. He needs to learn to appreciate what a beautiful person you are, and you need to do the same."</p>
<p>Madge nods, feels her stomach roll again. "What would Katniss say about that?"</p>
<p>"Who cares?" Peeta chuckles. "Katniss doesn't get to tell me how to feel. She gets a say, has influence, but I'm my own person, Madge. Just like you. Katniss is Gale's friend first and she's going to want what's best for him. I'm your friend first, and I'm telling you to put your needs first. Katniss and I can argue about it, but we're adults and we respect that we each have our own opinions and we still love each other. Love doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect."</p>
<p>He presses a kiss to her temple. "Do what makes you happy and I'll support you. No matter what."</p>
<p>Madge blinks back tears, clears her vision, and for the first time in years wonders what it is that is going to make her happy.</p>
<p>#######</p>
<p>Madge knocks, a couple of short taps, on Gale's apartment door.</p>
<p>It's early, but he has summer classes and he'll be up.</p>
<p>Damp hair and a towel around his waist, Gale opens the door, his expression bordering on irritated. His morning routine is down to a science, has been since he was young and had to share a bathroom with his brothers.</p>
<p>The irritation slips off his face the minute he sees Madge.</p>
<p>His eyes light up and his mouth tugs up into a relieved smile as he reaches out to her. The look falls, though, when she steps from his grasp.</p>
<p>He recovers, puts on a small, crooked smile on just for her, and turns his body so she can come in, but she shakes her head. "I'm not coming in. I have to go."</p>
<p>Gale frowns. "Then why did you come by?"</p>
<p>Gathering her courage, Madge takes a breath. She needs to do this. She needs the closure.</p>
<p>"I came to say goodbye," she finally says, focusing her red-rimmed eyes on his clear gray ones.</p>
<p>Gale's head tilts in confusion. "Goodbye?"</p>
<p>Madge nods. "I'm heading west. I called a friend and I'm going to stay with her, enroll out there, move on."</p>
<p>She needs distance. A fresh start. It feels a bit like running away, and in a way it is. Sometimes though, she thinks, that's all you can do.</p>
<p>"Move on?" Gale shakes his head, not understanding.</p>
<p>"From us," Madge says suddenly, heart racing. She needs to finish this as soon as possible.</p>
<p>She bites her lip. "Gale, we aren't any good for each other. I don't make you happy-"</p>
<p>He starts to cut her off, but she silences him with a raised hand, a gentle gesture to beg him for a few minutes to say her piece.</p>
<p>"I don't make you happy. If I did you wouldn't always be looking for something that I just can't give you. I don't know what that is, but I hope you find it someday. I really d-do, because as much as you've hurt me, I love you." She swallows down tears. "I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm doing this to help me. I can't spend the rest of my life trying to be something to you that I can't even define, and have no hope of ever being."</p>
<p>Despite her efforts, her cheeks begin to dampen.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Gale tells her. "I never meant to hurt you. You know that don't you?"</p>
<p>Madge wishes she could say she did. His texts and voicemails certainly had told her that. Deep down in her soul though, she doesn't. Somehow, she doubts Gale even considered her or her hurt feelings when he did things.</p>
<p>He's a wildfire. She has to build her fire break before he consumes her completely, it's his nature. Madge has to carry her little candle, barely still flickering, and protect it. She has to use it to light another candle, keep her flame alive without destroying others, that's her nature.</p>
<p>She can't stay and watch him burn himself out, just as she knows he's going to. It isn't in her.</p>
<p>Forcing a smile, Madge takes a step forward, bounces to her toes and presses a kiss to his still scruffy cheek. He hates shaving, even though his stubble is irritating to her skin.</p>
<p>He's still damp, she can smell his body wash and shampoo radiating off his skin. It's the best smell in the world to her.</p>
<p>He catches her around the waist with his free arm, buries his face in her hair and inhales. "Don't go."</p>
<p>She wishes she heard more desperation in his voice. It would give her a little hope that he loved her, would miss her, half as much as she would him.</p>
<p>It rings hollow to her ears though.</p>
<p>She falls back, sniffles down a few tears and gives him a watery smile. "Goodbye, Gale."</p>
<p>With that she turns, and doesn't let herself look back.</p>
<p>#######</p>
<p>5 Years Later</p>
<p>Madge grins as Thresh spins her across the dance floor.</p>
<p>He's surprisingly graceful for as big a guy as he is. They'd met in a beginners dance class, a 'get out and know people' exercise Madge's roommates, Birdy Alameda and Katy-Jo Lewes had pushed her into. He'd been determined to learn, to impress his grandmother at his cousin's wedding, and he'd done so in spectacular fashion.</p>
<p>When they'd advance in the class, Madge and Thresh had stayed as partners. He was a good friend, not quite as certainly spoken as Peeta, but every bit as supportive. A bit like an overprotective big brother.</p>
<p>On the painfully rare occasion Madge went on a date, Thresh made sure to meet the man at the apartment, let him know Madge had someone very large and very intimidating waiting up for her.</p>
<p>It almost made her laugh. Thresh, at least in her mind, was about as threatening as a kitten. Not that her dates knew that.</p>
<p>In the end, though, she enjoys spending time with her friends rather than trying to build a relationship. Her experience with Gale had left her with an empty space in her soul that she just can't bring herself to fill with another man, at least not anytime in the next fifty or so years.</p>
<p>Even though Gale wasn't, as Birdy called it, 'the Wesley to your Buttercup', more the Winnie Cooper to her Kevin Arnold, unlike Kevin, Madge can't let her teenage love go.</p>
<p>"Thresh, be careful," she snorts as he leans over, dipping her toward the floor. He's going to hurt his back.</p>
<p>He grins. "Stop worrying."</p>
<p>With a snort of laughter, she lets him dip her again.</p>
<p>When he pulls her up, both still laughing, a hand comes up and taps Thresh's shoulder.</p>
<p>The man isn't quite as tall as Thresh, who is nothing short of a giant, but since he isn't stretching his arm out he must be well above average. The man's hand is tan, a warm olive color, strong looking as it taps Thresh's shoulder.</p>
<p>With a huff of annoyance, Thresh turns. He gets annoyed on her behalf when men cut in on their limited dance time. Madge can almost hear the voice in his head muttering 'newbie' in agitation at the man.</p>
<p>"We're a closed couple," he tells the man. It's the code the class had come up with when a pair didn't want to be split up, for whatever reason, and most respected it.</p>
<p>Just as Thresh is about to take Madge's hand back, continue their dance, Madge catches sight of the man's disappointed face. A face she tries not to dream about every night.</p>
<p>Before she can stop herself, her mouth takes off. "Gale?"</p>
<p>He'd been about to back off, turn and walk away without speaking, which isn't, or wasn't, like him. When he hears his name, her voice and confused tone, he brightens.</p>
<p>"Hi, Madge."</p>
<p>Thresh's face twists up, gives Gale an irritated once over. "Gale Hawthorne?" He looks back at Madge. "The asshole kissed your friend right after she got engaged? The one cheated on you with the hooker?"</p>
<p>Madge tries not to roll her eyes. She'd told Thresh the basics of her and Gale's breakup. Birdy and Katy-Jo Lewes had filled in the rest, with some of their own spurious embellishments.</p>
<p>"She wasn't a hooker," Madge says, for the thousandth time, under her breath.</p>
<p>Thresh doesn't look impressed. His eyebrows arch up. "What do you want?"</p>
<p>Gale straightens himself up, to his full height, a few inches shorter than Thresh, and sets his jaw. "I came over to dance with Madge. I want to talk to her."</p>
<p>Hand tightening around her waist, Thresh shrugs at the statement. "Guess you're out of luck then. She's a bit occupied at the moment."</p>
<p>Gale's mouth settles into a line. "Doesn't she get to make that call?"</p>
<p>Thresh's expression squashes and he cuts Madge a look.</p>
<p>She considers using Thresh as her bodyguard, he would relish the chance to intimidate the man hurt his friend, but that hollowed out place in her soul won't let her. One look at the worn expression on Gale's face and she relents.</p>
<p>"Let him say his piece, Thresh." She'd said hers, and even if it had taken him five years, Gale deserves to say his.</p>
<p>Apprehensively, Thresh leans down and gives Madge a kiss on the cheek. "Kick him in the nuts and yell he tries anything."</p>
<p>He isn't being funny, but it still makes her laugh. It's no wonder he and Peeta were instant friends.</p>
<p>With a last reassuring squeeze of her shoulder, Thresh walks off to the little refreshment table in the corner of the class.</p>
<p>Swallowing, Gale's Adam's apple bobs and after a few hesitant seconds, offers Madge his hand.</p>
<p>Still uncertain what he's going to say, how badly this is going to hurt, but more confidant she can take it better than she had the realization that she just wasn't what he needed, Madge puts her hand in his.</p>
<p>It's instantly apparent he's paid someone off to get into the advanced class. He's slightly better than he had been back when she'd had to drag him onto the floor years ago, but only slightly.</p>
<p>She narrows her eyes on him as he tries to steer her as far from Thresh's steady glare as he can.</p>
<p>"Why are you here, Gale?"</p>
<p>He swallows again and she notices he's clean shaven. Some girl had clearly, finally, gotten to him. Maybe, she suddenly thinks, he's had a daughter. Maybe he wants to apologize to her as a way of settling out some cosmic debt he feels he's incurred by hurting her so badly that she left for another coast.</p>
<p>"I came to apologize," he finally says. His gray eyes focus on some point of light past her ear. He can't seem to get himself to focus on her.</p>
<p>"I hurt you. I didn't realize what you-I didn't appreciate what I had." His eyes flick to her then back to whatever distant point they'd determined to like so much. "I was selfish. I kept thinking I was going to find something better. My whole life I'd been trying to burn twice as bright as everyone else, get noticed, be someone, but..."</p>
<p>He stops, his eyes finally locking with hers are a little red, wet looking. "I didn't remember that you burn out twice as fast that way too. And I burned, Madge. You weren't there to keep me from burning out, keep me going, and I burned out."</p>
<p>Gale had finally realized he was destroying himself, probably had hit bottom for the realization. It makes a pain shoot across Madge's chest for him, despite not wanting it to.</p>
<p>He'd finally learned he was a wildfire and that Madge was nothing but a candle flame trying to teach him to have a purpose to his ways.</p>
<p>She hadn't realized it, but they'd stopped dancing, were frozen in an awkward kind of embrace.</p>
<p>Gale's eyes glow with the dull light in the classroom and his hand comes up, fingers tracing along her jaw.</p>
<p>"I've spent the past few years trying to put myself together, after I got my head out and realized how bad I'd screwed up with you," he blinks, lets the severe line of his mouth turn up just a fraction. "I grew up, Madge. I realized I need you."</p>
<p>It feels like she's waited a lifetime, and in some ways she has, to hear him say that. To hear that he's learned such a hard lesson. It doesn't erase the wounds, the charred acres around her heart, that hollow place he'd created in her, though.</p>
<p>He's still a fire, still dangerous, and even if he's built breaks around himself, fire is still dangerous. It still burns.</p>
<p>"Thing don't pick up where they left off," she tells him.</p>
<p>"Wouldn't want it to," he says with a weak smile.</p>
<p>She keeps her expression neutral and his grin slips a little.</p>
<p>"If you want this to work, you have to help me. I know I wasn't perfect, far from it, but I was so caught up in making myself someone you'd love that I lost myself. I've grown up too. I'm not going to break myself down for you again. I can't. I have too much respect for myself now, too much life built to give it all up."</p>
<p>Much as she's willing, much as she wants to try with Gale again, she's never stopped loving him, she's still following Peeta's advice. She's going to keep learning to be Madge and appreciate herself, whether Gale or anyone else can or not.</p>
<p>The little smile twists up, brightens on Gale's face. "Ready, willing, and able."</p>
<p>His eyes cut over to Thresh, still glowering at them as he eats dips his undoubtedly stale chip in the homemade queso from the crockpot, and grimaces. "You think you can call off your bodyguard for me though?"</p>
<p>Madge takes Gale's hand and gives it a squeeze as she tugs him over to introduce him, properly, to Thresh.</p>
<p>She might not be the something he was looking for, but that's okay. She doesn't care anymore. For the first time in her life, Madge is the something she's been searching for, and if she can be happy with that then so can Gale.</p>
<p>It might not be perfect, but then again, that may be what makes it perfect.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Everest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine</p><p>AN: I know nothing about climbing, but it just came out like this. My apologies to people who know anything about climbing. See? I don't even know what it's actually called. I'm so sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gale feels his face fall into a scowl as he watches Madge laugh with the hulking man dancing with her.</p><p>Despite his size, Gale will admit the guy is light on his feet. Then again, they are in an advanced level class. He's probably been dancing with Madge for the past five years, getting to know the little nuances of her moves, the way her hair moves, her nose wrinkles and her eyes twinkle in the poor lighting of the dance studio.</p><p>He grits his teeth and battles down the jealousy boiling up in his stomach.</p><p>Gale had put himself in this position. He'd been the one to toss their relationship, and with it the right to be jealous of any man Madge might feel any inkling of affection for, away the night of Katniss' birthday, when he'd kissed her.</p><p>At the time he'd thought he'd needed the confirmation that Katniss, the girl he'd had the smallest bit of a crush on for ages but had passed up so he didn't ruin their friendship, wasn't the one he really needed or wanted. What better way to figure that out than to kiss her?</p><p>Several, was apparently the answer.</p><p>The kiss, which was as lackluster as getting his face cleaned with a napkin soaked in his mother's spit, had ended with a sharp slap.</p><p>"What is wrong with you?" Katniss had asked him, wiping her mouth as if Gale's kiss were the portal of entry for any number of vile germs. "Seriously? What is wrong with you?"</p><p>He hadn't had an answer then, and years later he still struggles to come up with a good answer.</p><p>The best he's managed is that, after years of suffering, he'd still been trying to look for the next step up. Being at the bottom had taught him to always be looking higher. In school, he'd fought his way through and then moved to the next battle ground, determined to reach the next goal, the next highest point. It was his way of life, and somehow he'd made himself believe that very principle that guided his every action needed to apply to his relationship.</p><p>If he'd been half as smart as he thought he was he'd have realized that eventually you reach the top.</p><p>Gale had been so focused on finding that next battle, reaching that unseen next highest point, that he hadn't noticed he'd been scaling Everest. Madge had been the summit of the highest mountain and he had brushed right past her.</p><p>Much as he enjoyed having Madge around, she was pretty and funny and easy to talk to, he enjoyed being able to scale new mountains more. In his mind, she'd been nothing but a hill, a small barrier that he'd known he would eventually cross, have to pass by. It had just happened much more suddenly, much more unpleasantly, than he'd expected.</p><p>Freedom had been painful for Madge, but in the end, Gale thought at least, both of them would be better off for it. They'd climb higher for having been through their relationship, be stronger. He hated having hurt her, but it would be for her benefit in the long run.</p><p>That's what he told himself then, and in some ways, he still thinks that.</p><p>Madge did come out the better for their relationship. She deserved to.</p><p>Gale didn't.</p><p>It hadn't been immediate, realizing that he'd made a mistake.</p><p>At first, it was liberating. No Madge asking him questions, texting him to make sure he'd made it home after a late test or offering to come pick him up when he drank too much with Thom. No Madge moving his things, disrupting his organizational flow. No Madge making his bed for him. No Madge asking him if he liked her dress or the newest body spray she'd picked up at the mall.</p><p>The girls that came after her were quick and easy. One night stands or less, and Gale was contented. He felt he deserved some nice flat runs of life after the struggles of his relationship with Madge. It was simple, they were simple, though, and eventually he began to hunger after the challenge of a relationship, the tangles that had drawn him to Madge.</p><p>Despite looking, drinking to dull his senses and make them all a little more interesting, none of the girls held his attention. They might've all been the same girl for all the variation they showed.</p><p>Then Johanna Mason had come back.</p><p>She'd been his first mistake, years before, and he should've lost Madge for that fiasco.</p><p>There was no Madge now, though, no reason not to finally scale the complicated cliffs of the wild girl he'd come so close to attempting to battle up when he'd only been a teenager.</p><p>At first that had been enough. Johanna was wild, quick and fun, but still a challenge. She didn't let him get bored. There was an intensity in her that he craved. A burn that he fed in himself.</p><p>Johanna didn't call to check on him. She didn't care if he liked her clothes or how she smelled. She didn't make his bed. In fact, Gale couldn't remember a single morning after they'd woken up together.</p><p>Johanna had intensity in spades, but what she didn't have, Gale realized one morning as he crawled out her bed before the first streaks of morning light filtered into her room, was intimacy.</p><p>There was no connecting with her, and that's how she liked it. That's how Gale thought he would like it. All the exhilaration of the climb without the baggage at the end.</p><p>It wasn't though.</p><p>Without the baggage, the cuddling and the calls, the concern, the battle felt pointless, a hollow finale.</p><p>He'd looked at Johanna, sleeping without a care in the world, about Gale or anyone else, and realized he wanted the payoff. He needed it, and he didn't know how to get it back.</p><p>Months stretched on into a year, then two, and the battles changed, became less about getting to the top and more about staying anchored in place despite the avalanches coming down on him.</p><p>It wasn't until a knock came on his door, what felt like a lifetime after his and Katniss' kiss and Madge's running off, that he realized just how far he'd fallen.</p><p>"You look like shit," Mellark told him, blonde eyebrows arched up and a little frown on his lips.</p><p>"Thanks," Gale muttered, trying to shut the door in his face.</p><p>Mellark stopped the satisfying click from coming by stuffing his foot in the jam. He put his hand on the door, and with a small shove, pushed it open and stepped in. His nose wrinkled in disgust the minute he was through the threshold.</p><p>"Love what you've done with the place."</p><p>"Stuff it, Mellark," Gale grumbled, tossing an empty beer bottle into the overflowing garbage. He shot the idiot a sharp look. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>There was no reason for it. They weren't friends, not before Gale had kissed Katniss and certainly not after, and without Madge to bind them to one another there was no tether between them. They were as good as strangers if not for occasionally meeting up when Katniss found time for Gale.</p><p>"Your mother called Katniss. She's worried about you," Mellark began, kicking an empty pizza box with his shoe. "Since Katniss currently thinks you're a waste of oxygen for all this crap you've been pulling with Johanna Mason I figure I owe it to at least Madge to make sure you don't burn yourself."</p><p>Gale snorted, dropped down onto his collapsing couch.</p><p>"Madge? Madge hates me too. Dumped my ass and ran off to god knows where." He hadn't even checked to see that she'd made it. He was an asshole.</p><p>"You're complete dumbass, you know that?" Mellark chuckled darkly. "It would be so much simpler if she hated you. Hate is a hell of a lot easier than loving someone that's a complete jackass."</p><p>Gale opened his mouth to argue he wasn't a jackass, but found he didn't have the words to. He had no defense for his actions.</p><p>Despite apparently getting past his little hill, one named Madge, he hadn't found a more impressive challenge, more happiness and contentment after. He couldn't say the kiss with Katniss wasn't a mistake and he certainly couldn't say whatever the hell he had with Johanna wasn't a disaster.</p><p>"Whatever," was all he managed.</p><p>Mellark looked at the couch, then around the room. "Yeah, whatever."</p><p>They stayed like that, Gale staring at his increasingly filthy floor and Mellark watching him, for several minutes before Mellark let out a long, low whistle.</p><p>"You know what your problem is?" Mellark finally said.</p><p>Gale had a pretty good idea, but he knew Mellark would make it sound so much more articulate and so much more damning.</p><p>"You think everything that isn't a fight isn't worth your time." He shook his head. "You're so used to punching your way through everything that when you have something, someone, that's willing to give you an inch of help, you write it off. It's not enough for you."</p><p>While he was only voicing the thoughts Gale had been tossing around in his head for the past few years, it still nettled him that Katniss' golden boy was pointing out his fatal flaw to him.</p><p>"And what exactly do you suggest I do about that?" Gale asked, crossing his arms and glaring up.</p><p>"I suggest you break off this toxic thing you have with Johanna, call your mother so she can stop worrying about you, and get your head on straight before you lose your scholarship." Mellark mimicked Gale's position, settled his eyes on him. "I suggest you learn some perspective."</p><p>After that he left, leaving Gale with his thoughts and annoyance.</p><p>The next day, after blowing off Johanna the night before and calling his positively fuming mother, Gale went by Katniss' apartment.</p><p>"She's in class," Mellark told him as he let him in.</p><p>"I'll wait," Gale muttered, taking a seat at the tiny bar and resting his elbows against the formica.</p><p>Mellark tilted his head, thinking, then smiled. "Well, she's coming by the park after, so you might as well come with me."</p><p>Gale took in Mellark's appearance, a tank top and pants he was pretty sure were only sold in the juniors section, and shook his head. "No."</p><p>"Afraid?" Mellark asked, smirking.</p><p>"Only of those pants," Gale answered.</p><p>Mellark's smile widened. "You know what? I think you need to come with me. You need a challenge, and I'm about to give you one."</p><p>Nearly ten minutes later, after being told he needed this new 'perspective', Gale was out in the park, a look of disgust on his face.</p><p>"You want me to do yoga?" Gale huffed. "How exactly is sissy ass yoga supposed to teach me perspective?"</p><p>Mellark rolled his eyes. "By showing you just because something isn't 'fast and furious' doesn't mean it's 'sissy' or unchallenging. Believe me, you need this."</p><p>Just because he couldn't stand the thought of being shown up by Mellark, who was already down on his little black matt stretching and chatting with the earthy looking little instructor, Gale decided to humor the idiot and show him up.</p><p>That, he realized when he'd been left behind during a downward facing duck or some other ridiculous sounding stance, was a mistake. It wasn't until he tumbled over, straight into the grass, while trying to do some lame impression of a tree, that he came to the conclusion that Mellark might have had a point. Not that he'd ever admit to it.</p><p>"Not as easy as it looks, huh?" Mellark smirked when the class ended.</p><p>Gale glowered up at him, from his 'corpse pose', the only move in the whole hour he was certain he had down well, and made a threatening noise.</p><p>"Next class is Thursday," Mellark told him.</p><p>Despite still thinking it was sissy, and feeling like a complete dork trying to do the slow moves and holding the poses, Gale grunted an acknowledgement.</p><p>He showed up the next two months.</p><p>It was a challenge, different than his classes and different than his now floundering non-relationship with Johanna. Like them, it's seemingly simple, straightforward, something he could conquer and move on, but it isn't. It's different.</p><p>There's more to it than he realized, breathing and balance, concentration, otherwise it all falls to pieces and you hurt yourself. Kind of like a real relationship. Like the one he'd had with Madge before he'd jumped headfirst down to the earth, scorched and blackened by his own stupidity, below.</p><p>She'd been helping him along. Gale had thought he was a solo climber, inching his way all on his own, but while trying to hold some kind of 'boat' pose, he realized he most definitely hadn't.</p><p>Madge had been his anchor. She'd been belaying him and he hadn't paid her the slightest bit of attention.</p><p>He supposed that was what Mellark had meant about perspective.</p><p>Sitting on a thin piece of recycled rubber, in what he was certain was a military grade stress position, Gale's stomach lurched. Madge had been holding a stress position their whole relationship, and Gale hadn't appreciated that.</p><p>It took far more strength to hold on, to cling to the side of a mountain and preserve, than it did to let go and find something else to climb and start over, begin again at the base. Madge and his relationship hadn't been a struggle, it hadn't been easy either, but it had been worth it.</p><p>"Glad you finally opened your eyes," Mellark told him, when after several long sessions Gale told him just that. Katniss was still avoiding him. Something he'd done under the influence of several six packs and Johanna had put Gale on her shit list. Damned if he could remember what that was though.</p><p>With a nod, Gale had rubbed his hands through his hair, damp with sweat, and sighed.</p><p>"So," he massaged his neck, looked anywhere but at Mellark, "what do I do next?"</p><p>Mellark's smirk fell. "Next?"</p><p>Gale cut him a look. "Yeah, for my, uh, perspective?"</p><p>"Whatever you want," Mellark shrugged, taking a swig from his water bottle. "It all depends on what you want to do."</p><p>"Get Madge back," Gale told him firmly.</p><p>Water sputtered out Mellark's mouth and he made a sound reminiscent of Scooby-Doo.</p><p>Whatever Gale wanted apparently couldn't include that.</p><p>"You've hurt her enough," Mellark told him, wiping his spit covered mouth with the back of his arm. "She's long gone."</p><p>That hadn't deterred Gale. Mellark had instilled in him a desire to fight hopeless battles. He'd survived yoga, actually enjoyed it the more he did it, and if that was possible then anything was.</p><p>It had taken him another few years, and more than one apology to Katniss over the 'Subaru incident' as it became known, before she trusted him again. Even after that, Mellark still wasn't swayed.</p><p>"I watched you break her down, Gale," Mellark told him as he kneaded a lump of dough for Katniss' favorite rolls. "You were so important to her, she loved you and she worked so hard for you, and you treated her like she was barely worthy of respect."</p><p>Mellark wasn't about to give his blessing to Gale, and for more than one reason, that was important to him.</p><p>Instead of giving up, which Gale suspected is what Mellark expected, he kept on his path.</p><p>No Johanna, less drinking, focus and determination.</p><p>He would prove himself to Mellark and then to Madge, however long that took.</p><p>Five years, which was far too long, but Gale also knew, not nearly long enough for him to suffer for his shit decisions, ended up being the number on the calendar when his newly learned patience was rewarded.</p><p>Mellark had shown up late to the park, looking a little flustered, and barely kept up with Annie.</p><p>Gale frowned and toweled off his hair, ignoring the sweaty girls making eyes at him, before making his way over to him.</p><p>"What's up with you?"</p><p>Mellark popped his neck, sighed. His normally bright expression was a little dull, and Gale wasn't sure what to expect.</p><p>"I need to ask you a question," he began. He hesitates, thinks for a second, then sighs. "I want you to be my best man."</p><p>That was far from what he expected.</p><p>"Me?" Gale had thought that when the disgusting love birds finally set a date one of Mellark's obnoxious brothers would be by his side. "What about Rhys or Emmer?"</p><p>"Yeah," Mellark nods. "Katniss is going to have Prim as her maid of honor and I thought Rhys or Emmer would be my best man, but I hate choosing between them, and honestly I'm closer with you than I ever have been with them."</p><p>That was both touching and sad. Gale didn't point that out, though, just took his water bottle and dumped it over Mellark's sweaty blond head. "I'm it then."</p><p>That night, as Katniss was arguing with Prim over what color the bridesmaids' dresses were going to be ("I don't know what color sea foam even is, Prim."), Mellark handed Gale a slip of paper.</p><p>"That's Madge's address," he pointed to the front of the envelope. "You go out to the coast often enough, maybe you can swing by there and drop off her 'save the date' for us. Save us some postage."</p><p>Gale stared at the little envelope, white with the name 'Miss Madge Undersee' written in impeccable script across the front.</p><p>It's still in his pocket. He'd gone by her apartment, met her horrible roommates and received Robert De Niro levels of animosity boiled at him, despite having Mellark on the phone vouching for him.</p><p>"You sent us a broken bird," the dirty blonde named after the nutcase from Friends told the Mellark over the phone. "And we have healed that child!"</p><p>"Almost rehabilitated her wounded heart," the tall dark skinned girl added with a jab. "She's out living it up, dancing the night away with a tall, dark, and sexy man of means."</p><p>"She's at her weekly dance class with Thresh, who she has personally described as a 'Ginger Chaser', and he's an animator or something, how much money do they make?" Mellark sounded bemused more than anything.</p><p>"You are unhelpful incarnate," the dark girl huffed.</p><p>"You can forget that standing mixer we were going to go in on halvsies for you and angry-pants," the Friends girl muttered.</p><p>"Just tell Gale where the dance class is," Mellark finally tells them.</p><p>And that's how Gale found himself in the dimly lit studio, watching the girl he chased off dancing and laughing with a man that despite Mellark's reassurances, Gale still feels threatened by.</p><p>"Madge isn't seeing anyone," Mellark had told him, several dozen times since giving him the invitation. "She hasn't been seeing anyone. She's been on, I don't know, ten dates. Ten dates in five years, no seconds. She's still hung up on you, even with everyone telling her you're a waste of carbon. Seriously, I've told her, and Birdy, and Katy-Jo Lewes, and-"</p><p>"Yeah, I get it, you all think I'm an asshole," Gale grumbled, trying to find the entrance to the studio.</p><p>"I don't think you're an asshole. I mean, I did…"</p><p>Gale had been too afraid to ask if Mellark had updated Madge on his personal growth. He doubts it. Mellark was Madge's friend first, and not mentioning Gale, whether he was transforming himself from a douche bag of epic proportion or not, was to her benefit.</p><p>When he spots them across the room, Madge happier, glowing, than she'd been at any point during their relationship, and for an instant he considers walking out. She deserves so much better than him.</p><p>She's still hung up on you.</p><p>It's that glimmer of hope, that hint of the summit at the horizon that keeps him from leaving. If Madge still thinks about him, even just the smallest bit, he has to try. She'd always put herself out there for him, and this is his chance to return that to her. His heart is hers to squash.</p><p>Gathering his courage, he strides across the room and taps the monster of a man on the shoulder.</p><p>"We're a closed couple," the man says, not even sparing Gale a glance.</p><p>He can't see Madge, not even a hint of her soft hair, to make even the most passing of contact with her, and that leaves him more than a little frustrated.</p><p>Deciding that maybe he should wait until the class lets out, Gale turns to go. He doesn't want to upset her in the middle of what are probably a group of her friends. He just hadn't thought this through…</p><p>"Gale?"</p><p>Her voice is so soft, like rain after a drought, and Gale can't help but smile at the sound.</p><p>"Hi, Madge."</p><p>She stares at him for what feels like an eternity and he drinks in every last detail of her. From the loose strands floating out of her ponytail to the chips in the polish on her toes, just barely hinting out the ends of her flats, she's more beautiful now than she had been the last day he'd seen her.</p><p>Not having tears rolling down her cheeks, caused by him, also makes a difference.</p><p>"Gale Hawthorne?" The giant shoots Madge a look. "The asshole kissed your friend right after she got engaged? The one cheated on you with the hooker?"</p><p>"She wasn't a hooker," Madge mutters. The fact that she defends him is yet another hopeful sign.</p><p>Her friend doesn't look impressed. "What do you want?"</p><p>Gale tries to make himself a little taller, a little more intimidating. "I came over to dance with Madge. I want to talk to her."</p><p>"Guess you're out of luck then. She's a bit occupied at the moment," her friend tells Gale, his hand protectively around her waist.</p><p>Much as Gale appreciates that Madge has such protective friends, he wants to talk to her. She deserves to knock him down herself if she wants. "Doesn't she get to make that call?"</p><p>After a beat of thought, Madge sighs. "Let him say his piece, Thresh."</p><p>The giant gives Gale one last dark look before kissing Madge on the cheek, saying something to make her laugh, and heading over to the crockpot in the corner.</p><p>"Why are you here, Gale?" She finally asks, once Gale has maneuvered her from the deadly gaze of her companion.</p><p>Gale swallows down the anxiety bubbling up from his stomach and focuses on her hair, tries to remember the exact scent of her favorite shampoo. Something fresh and soft. "I came to apologize."</p><p>"I hurt you. I didn't realize what you-I didn't appreciate what I had." He chances a look at her, and is relieved to find a thoughtful expression on her soft features before he refocuses on her hair. "I was selfish. I kept thinking I was going to find something better. My whole life I'd been trying to burn twice as bright as everyone else, get noticed, be someone, but..."</p><p>He lets his eyes lock with hers, feels heat building up behind his eyes.</p><p>"I didn't remember that you burn out twice as fast that way too. And I burned, Madge. You weren't there to keep me from burning out, keep me going, and I burned out."</p><p>He'd fallen from whatever point he'd reached and had to start all over at the bottom, this time without Madge to steady him, watch his back, keep him from tumbling down and burning below, in fires of his own making.</p><p>They stop dancing, freeze in their corner, and Gale lets one of his fingers trace along her jaw.</p><p>"I've spent the past few years trying to put myself together, after I got my head out and realized how bad I'd screwed up with you," he blinks, back tears and lets a small smile tug up on his lips. "I grew up, Madge. I realized I need you."</p><p>"Thing don't pick up where they left off," Madge says softly. He's hurt her too much for them to go back to how they'd been. There's a breach of trust, a frayed ends on the rope that had tied them together that Gale had created.</p><p>He's going to mend it, though.</p><p>"Wouldn't want it to," he says with a weak smile.</p><p>When her expression doesn't shift up, turn into a smile, Gale's slips a little.</p><p>"If you want this to work, you have to help me. I know I wasn't perfect, far from it, but I was so caught up in making myself someone you'd love that I lost myself. I've grown up too. I'm not going to break myself down for you again. I can't. I have too much respect for myself now, too much life built to give it all up."</p><p>Madge has changed, just as much as Gale has, and he thinks maybe they really had needed this time apart. He likes the intensity burning in her eyes. It isn't like Johanna's, Madge could never be like that, but it's enticing. A new facet to her that he wants, needs, to discover.</p><p>The little smile twists up, brightens on Gale's face. "Ready, willing, and able."</p><p>He cuts his eyes over and gives her glowing friend, eating stale queso from the crockpot, a look. "You think you can call off your bodyguard for me though?"</p><p>Madge's smile returns and Gale feels his hear skip a beat. She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze as she pulls him off the dance floor.</p><p>Gale lets himself soak in the chill of her fingers, wrapped so neatly in his sweaty palms.</p><p>This time he's going to appreciate the wonder and the beauty of her, never let himself think she's being anything but gracious with him when he doesn't get knocked from her and down to his own charred earth below.</p><p>She was, will always be, his Everest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Navigation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine.</p><p>AN: Many thanks to nursekelly0429 for making sure this wasn't an incoherent jumble.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Madge's new relationship with Gale was an uncertain vessel, tossed and beaten in a wild storm.</p><p>She didn't know how long it would hold together. It was familiar, but the storm they'd come through, Gale's infidelity and lack of respect for her, had left it weakened and uncertain. The necessary repairs needed were many and despite Gale's promises that he'd changed, she was still cautious.</p><p>Before Katniss and Peeta's wedding, trekking back across the country together, Madge and Gale had gone on a few date trying to get to know each other again.</p><p>"I'm working for an engineering firm. I travel out here a lot, doing ground work so the lawyers can draw up the contracts," he told her as they shared a plate of nachos on the pier. The evening settling in over them as the sun set out on the ocean.</p><p>"Sounds…exciting," Madge snorted. Gale had hated the tedium of that kind of work five years before and she couldn't imagine him enjoying it now.</p><p>He shrugged. "There are worse things. I get to lay the ground work for a lot of interesting projects and I'm out here quite a bit."</p><p>Madge didn't miss the hints, the not quite subtle nudges, letting her know he was in her area on a frequent basis. She hadn't said anything, just nodded.</p><p>Things between them were tentative, and she refuses to give him false hope. They weren't a certainty, there was no guarantee that they would make it across the ocean of hurt he'd created when he cheated.</p><p>However, the possibility did exist, like land just over the horizon.</p><p>He was steady now, a far cry from the unhelpful co-captain he had been, who had let her hold the wheel and keep them from capsizing, turning over in their sea of misery and drowning. He wanted to keep them afloat just as much as Madge did, and, she considered that a promising start.</p><p>"What about you? What are you doing?"</p><p>The genuine interest he showed was a first.</p><p>Before, when they'd dated, he had never cared to ask about her life. Madge was merely an extension of Gale, and his accomplishments overshadowed hers. In Gale's opinion, she'd had an easier life, hadn't struggled to make her way the way he had. In his mind that made her less interesting, less in need of recognition.</p><p>"I work at the hospital," she'd answered simply. "I work in the nursery."</p><p>Working with newborns had been cathartic for Madge when she'd moved out to live so far from home. Babies didn't ask questions, they didn't expect anything from her except a clean diaper and a bottle. They didn't know how miserable she was.</p><p>The babies in the nursery were her life lines when she'd struggled to stay afloat in the early days after abandoning her relationship with Gale. They were tiny miracles that kept her from drowning when she began to sink into the black depths of the ocean of her empty life. They were her port in the storm.</p><p>After months of avoiding life, focusing all her energy on clinging to her little lifesavers, Madge's friends had dragged her out of her safe haven, dried her off and warmed her up. They forced her to rejoin life.</p><p>"One boy isn't worth drowning over," Katy-Jo Lewes had told her.</p><p>Birdy had shaken her head. "Just because you're lost right now, doesn't mean you have to stay that way."</p><p>Her friends forced Madge to go with them, on trips to the zoo, to Disneyland, the movies, and shopping. They did anything they could to get her mind off Gale and the maelstrom of her mind. When she had too much time on her hands her own tumultuous thoughts were too heavy and threatened to pull her under.</p><p>"He wasn't good enough for you, sweetie." Katy-Jo Lewes constantly told her. "That boy used you as his life-preserver. You kept him from sinking in his own stupidity and now he's going to have to deal with that. You need to realize you're so much more than that. No relationship is worth losing yourself over."</p><p>Slowly, painfully, Madge began to believe them, seeing herself as independent. There was still a hollow place in her chest that Gale had occupied-and still did if she was honest with herself-but there was more to her than that now.</p><p>As the years passed by, and time tried to heal the hole in her heart Gale had created, Madge found herself.</p><p>She wasn't perfect, but she also wasn't doomed to be unhappy because of it. Gale wasn't the only thing she had in her life that could bring her joy.</p><p>Dating was tedious. Despite the knowledge that Gale was anything but a prince, none of the men her friends set her up with could sink the memory of her cheating boyfriend. They simply weren't Gale. She wanted to try and move on with her life, she did, but it felt impossible. They couldn't give her a new course.</p><p>"I don't think I'll ever not love him," Madge finally confessed.</p><p>It was embarrassing. Gale wounded her deeper than she'd imagined possible, but she still loved him.</p><p>"We don't chose who we love, Madgie," Birdy had comforted her. "That would make it too easy."</p><p>It certainly would've.</p><p>"But just because you love someone, doesn't mean you belong together," Katy-Jo Lewes added.</p><p>"That's exactly what it means," Madge snapped, rubbing tears from her eyes.</p><p>"No," Birdy shook her head. "Love shouldn't destroy you. Love shouldn't be a stone that drags you down. Love should keep you afloat. Until that boy learns to swim on his own, not drag you under, his love is something you can live without."</p><p>After a while, after many long, tear-filled conversations with her friends, with her parents, with herself, Madge finally saw the truth in their words.</p><p>She could live without Gale, without his love, because as much as she loved him, he clearly didn't love her back with as much fervor.</p><p>They didn't complete each other, not like they should, and after a while, she realized why.</p><p>'Do what makes you happy.'</p><p>That's what Peeta had told her what felt like a lifetime ago. She'd wondered at the time what it was that would make her happy?</p><p>Not dating men who would never be Gale, that was for certain, and not floating through her life, focusing on her work and nothing more.</p><p>Though she wasn't in danger of slipping back under anymore, she was aimlessly drifting through life.</p><p>Madge needed to be happy, with herself, with her life, separate from Gale, separate from her work, separate from all outside forces.</p><p>Looking at him, a little bit of salsa smeared at the corner of his lips, Madge reached up and wiped it away and smiled.</p><p>"I've been making myself happy."</p><p>She knew, looking at him and his dark hair and dark eyes that had haunted her nights so often when she'd first moved, that five years before he couldn't have made her complete. No one could have</p><p>To do that, she would've needed to be happy, missing only one essential piece of her person. The Madge that had dated Gale five years prior had been more than one piece shy of complete.</p><p>It was only leaving, learning to keep herself afloat, that she realized that.</p><p>Her life before had been so much about holding on to Gale, being his anchor and his life-preserver, that she'd never tried to determine what she wanted.</p><p>Dance classes and trips to the beach with her friends, no pressure to make anyone but herself contented, were what she needed. Madge needed books and trips and freedom. She needed to find herself, who she was and what she wanted in life, separate from Gale.</p><p>And, in the last five years, she had.</p><p>While there was that dull ache in her chest, that empty spot where her relationship with Gale had settled, she decided the one missing one piece, which had caused her so much pain, was something she could live with if the rest of her was full of life.</p><p>Gale smiled, pushed a loose strand of her hair from her face. "It suits you."</p><p>#######</p><p>Katniss and Peeta's wedding was beautiful, mostly, Madge thought, because of Prim. Katniss was never much on decorations and frills and Peeta had his hands full with the cake.</p><p>"Katniss looks gorgeous," Madge murmured as she watched the newlyweds started their first dance.</p><p>"She doesn't hold a candle to you," Gale whispered into her hair, nuzzling his nose into the messy updo Prim had helped her create.</p><p>He was buttering her up, she knew that, but she didn't care. He'd never complimented her so freely, so often, when they'd been together, and some small part of her felt like she deserved it.</p><p>"Don't let her hear you say that," Madge snorted, burying her face into his chest.</p><p>"I already told her."</p><p>Madge squinted up at him. "You didn't."</p><p>"Cross my heart."</p><p>Her face burned knowing he'd probably annoyed Katniss and Peeta both telling them he thought Madge outshone the bride. Not wanting him to see her pleased embarrassment, Madge slipped her arms around his waist and pressed herself tight to his body, soaking in his warmth. She'd missed it.</p><p>When the party finally ended, the last song played and the last table piece stolen, Gale took Madge back to the hotel.</p><p>He walked her up, rode with her in the elevator and to her door, then tried to lean in and press a kiss to her lips.</p><p>She turned her face, only let his press a warm kiss to her flushed cheek.</p><p>When he pulled back Madge's heart broke to see the look of disappointment on his face.</p><p>"I'm sorry," they said, almost simultaneously.</p><p>They watched each other for several long moments, a heavy, awkward silence settling over them.</p><p>"I'm just not ready, Gale," Madge finally whispered, her eyes still focused on her feet.</p><p>Gale's fingers, just as rough and calloused as they'd ever been, reached out, tipped her face up gently with the smallest amount of pressure under her chin.</p><p>"I'll wait."</p><p>#######</p><p>He called her every night, asked her how her day was going, told her about his latest trip-how bad the coffee was and how loud the people in the room next to his were being-then told her goodnight. There were never any unexplained female voices in the background, no loud music or yells and catcalls.</p><p>It was just Gale.</p><p>"I love you. I miss you."</p><p>Madge always smiled, bit her lip and imagined him reclining on the hotel bed, before answering back. "Miss you too."</p><p>She wanted to say I love you, because she did. That empty spot in her chest had begun to fill up again, warm her soul, but her head was more cautious now.</p><p>The memory of his cheating, all the nights she'd cried herself to sleep and questioned her own worth, still haunted her. She didn't want to drown again. She couldn't let herself.</p><p>Whatever he thought, Gale was a man of his word. He didn't pressure her. He just kept reaffirming to her that he loved her, he would wait for her, just like she'd tried to wait for him all those years before, when he'd ruined their life together.</p><p>On the weeks he was too far away to visit he sent flowers, huge bouquets of brightly colored blooms, with little notes attached.</p><p>He rarely wrote anything more than a line or two, Gale was never much for words.</p><p>Sometimes he drew her little sketches. They were terrible, harsh lines and sharp angles, stick figures doing various things-sitting on a beach, walking down a street, sitting on what she thought was a plane-that always made her laugh.</p><p>Other times he sent her postcards.</p><p>Sunrises and sunsets, views of the ocean from his room, mountains with sugary white caps, trees that stretched to the sky, places he was at and she wasn't.</p><p>'Wish you were here'-Gale</p><p>Each note, each text and call, made her smile.</p><p>He was trying.</p><p>Gale had pulled their relationship back from the depths, from where he had sunk it, and even though he'd known it was broken, he still wanted to salvage it. He was trying to patch the holes.</p><p>When they'd dated before it had always been Madge working to keep them above water, steering them through the storms, making repairs, now though, Gale was making the effort.</p><p>Every time Madge called, expecting it to roll over to voicemail, he answered.</p><p>No matter what the time difference, which she forgot about on a daily basis, he texted her back.</p><p>He didn't avoid her. Talking to her, listening to her, wasn't a chore to be dealt with.</p><p>It was refreshing, and with each smile he put on her face, each piece he added to the hole in her heart that he'd created, she felt herself growing closer and closer to letting go of the wheel and letting the winds carry them.</p><p>Gale had, with time and maturity, with effort Madge never knew him capable of, repaired them. They were no longer in danger of sinking from the old wounds, letting their past drag them back to the bottom. The patches Gale had mended them with were visible, but they were sturdy and strong.</p><p>Madge and Gale were separate people, but for the first time, they were whole. Not because they needed each other, they'd existed and flourished alone, but because they'd learned just how painful being without the other could be.</p><p>There was life in them without the other, but it wasn't complete.</p><p>Gale had learned to swim on his own, learned to survive without dragging Madge down. She could live without him, she knew that, but she didn't want to.</p><p>#######</p><p>It's nearly two in the morning. His flight had been delayed nearly four hours.</p><p>"You don't have to bring me something every time you visit," she laughs when Gale pulls a little box from his bag as they pulled into the parking lot of his hotel.</p><p>They were better, spent almost every moment together they could when he was in town, but Madge still kept a few barriers, like making him stay at the hotel. It was the last bit of control she had, and she couldn't let it go.</p><p>"I know, but I want to." He held the box out to her.</p><p>With a small smile, Madge takes the box and examines it.</p><p>Plain and white with a shoe lace tied in a bow at the top. She cuts him a sidelong look.</p><p>"They wouldn't wrap it for me, just gave me the box," he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, his face darkening several shades.</p><p>With a snort, Madge pulls the string and tosses the shoestring at him before carefully removing the top.</p><p>Inside, nestled in a bed of soft fluff, was a small, iridescent, bumpy looking rock.</p><p>Reaching in, Madge pulls it out and examines it in the palm of her hand. It glows under the illumination of the security light overhead.</p><p>"A pearl." She rolls it between her fingers, cool and irregular, smiling at it.</p><p>"Madge means 'pearl', right?" Gale finally asks, watching her carefully. When Madge nods, he lets out a log breath. "It's a natural pearl, the guy said they're really rare."</p><p>Madge nods again.</p><p>"I know it looks a little funny, but I promise, that's what they're supposed to look like." He swallows and Madge watches his Adam's apple bob, waiting for him to continue.</p><p>"Well, pearls are made when something gets into the shell of an oyster, or something, and it protects itself by coating that something in carbonate to protect the oyster from that, uh, thing." He rubs his hand over his face and sighs. "Anyway, I thought about you, 'cause of your name, and because…"</p><p>It takes several long minutes but Gale finally looks over at her, a little smile pulling up on his lips.</p><p>"I'm not saying I'm your pearl, but you can't deny I annoy you. I thought it might remind you of me."</p><p>Madge battles down a little grin.</p><p>He is her pearl. She's spent months letting him settle back into the shell of her life, all the while keeping him at arm's length.</p><p>She's walled him off, just like a pearl.</p><p>Eyes flickering back to the little sphere in her palm, Madge feels the last chink in her heart slip back into place.</p><p>Without thinking, Madge lunges over, grabs Gale around the neck and presses her lips to his.</p><p>He still tastes like his last cup of coffee, strong and warm and a little bitter, and his lips are still as rough as they ever were. He licks them too much.</p><p>The scent of his cologne is faded, but still there, hanging on his clothes as the last vestige of his morning routine.</p><p>Pulling back a fraction, Madge lets her eyes flicker up to Gale's, now heavy and dark. "I love you."</p><p>It takes him several seconds, he's been up for almost twenty-four hours after all, traveling from the other side of the world just to spend the weekend with her, but when it finally clicks with him just what she's said, a cautious grin forms on his lips.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>Madge presses another kiss to the side of his mouth, brushes her hands over the prickly stubble on his jaw and cheek before running it through his hair, standing it on end.</p><p>"I've always loved you, Gale," she breaths out. "Love was never the problem."</p><p>He lets her lips travel over his cheeks, press to his temple, before he makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and pulls her across the consol and into his lap.</p><p>Once she's there, he doesn't kiss her, just stares at her for a long moment, his fingers tracing a pattern on her thigh.</p><p>"Madge, I'll never make up for what I did. We lost years, years, because I'm an idiot." He sighs. "I just want you to know, love was never the problem for me either."</p><p>With just a beat of hesitancy, he leans in, presses a tentative kiss to her lips.</p><p>Huffing, Madge throws her arms around his neck again, pulls him towards her, deepening the kiss.</p><p>They'd lost time, and now was the time to make it up.</p><p>"Can you cancel your hotel room?"</p><p>Gale's hands, which had made their way up the back of Madge's shirt, still instantly. His eyes widen when he inches back.</p><p>"If you're inviting me to stay with you then I don't even care if I get a fine."</p><p>Madge's smile widens. "What if I tell you it's just an invitation to stay in my car?"</p><p>The corners of his lips twitch up. "Still closer to you than this joint."</p><p>He catches her lips again and Madge sighs.</p><p>Their ship is battered, patched together with hope and love, but it's tested against the worst life has to offer. Madge doesn't have to steer them alone, do every task without any offer of help, Gale is invested now.</p><p>The sea they have to navigate may not always be smooth, but together, they'll survive. Their sails are full at the moment and they're going to make it.</p><p>Madge knows it.</p>
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